A Letter From Emotional Abuse
And so we meet again, I was wondering how long it would take you to confront me. I must say you were one of the harder ones to capture. You forced me to be more skillful. I normally strike at will, but no not with you. I had to be wiser to deal with you, so I waited until your emotions were involved. I tripped up several times before then and I even thought I would be exposed by your intuition. But surprisingly, your intuition was ignored letting me continue my plan. Once you were in love I was able to reveal myself to you little by little.
I began to control you, you remember, controlling what you could and could not do. I began treating you like a child. You hated this, but continued to let me reign. I was so happy to find out that no boundaries had been set up. So I moved into different areas of your life making decisions for you as if you were not capable of making decisions for yourself. And I expected you to obey these decisions without questioning them. You knew something just wasn’t quite right but couldn’t put your finger on it. That something was me.
My next move was to make you feel worthless. So I began insulting you; sometimes in public, calling you names and making you feel bad about yourself. This worked like a charm especially when you began to think no one else would want you. Imagine that, as beautiful as you are. Over time I was able to erode your self-esteem making you feel powerless. This uncomfortable feeling was enough to keep you silent about what was going on inside of you. I was relieved because if you had told someone how you were feeling they may have helped you.
Often times my job became harder as your loved ones sensed my presence, questioning you about how you were isolating yourself from them and others. I thought surely I would be found out, but you remained faithful, so I continued my plan. Releasing a little bit of negative criticism here a little there, just enough so that you would begin to doubt yourself and who you really are. I can still remember the day you began to walk with your head held down. I thought…YES, I still got it!
I knew I had to step up my game, so I even threw in a couple of threats about what I would do to you or your loved ones if you thought about leaving. I began intimidating you day after day. I still don’t know how, but you continued to ignore your gut feeling.
Finally, I blamed you for it. This caused you to feel hopeless and confused. I know, I know, this is awful, but how else could I keep you in bondage. This is the only way I could distort your perception of who you really are. I couldn’t think of another way. And since all of the above worked so well, I’ll repeat the cycle over and over again.
I just have one request of you since you’ve been faithful thus far. Whatever you do, please don’t call on the name of JESUS!