Are you contemplating giving the relationship with the Narcissist another chance? If so, I want to let you know that many women who have managed to get out of the relationship with the Narcissist have found themselves desiring to reunite. This great desire has its roots in the initial stage that the Narcissist takes you through called “instant intimacy”. In that initial stage, the Narcissist creates the illusion of being in a perfect relationship, one that is so emotionally rewarding that you believe God has sent your knight and shining armor.
During the instant intimacy stage, you are the most important thing in the life of the Narcissist, and they can’t get enough of you. The admiration and attention showed to you in this stage create the illusion of having found the perfect person for you. Here’s the problem, it’s not real. The Narcissist is performing in a manner that not only deceives you but causes you to let down your guard priming you for the manipulation to come.
The performance of the Narcissist in this initial stage is extremely important as it determines and dictates your actions throughout the relationship and even after the relationship has ended. Meaning, it is this stage that will cause you to return to the relationship, ignoring its toxicity, all in the hopes of being able to recapture the bliss that was initially experienced. Nevermind the chaos, confusion, lies, cheating, gaslighting, disrespect, belittlement or the manipulation, the deception planted will cause you to overlook it all, and willingly run back into destruction only to realize that nothing has changed. In spite of the Narcissists epiphany and how God informed him that you are his wife, the behavior of the Narcissist will continue to be the same.
Keep in mind that if you do reenter the relationship, the Narcissist will start off by taking you back through the initial stage of flattery. However, the abusive cycle will soon follow. The Narcissist has no regard for causing you emotional harm and will take you through this toxic cycle as many times as you sign up for it. So before you jump back in head over heels, in love with the Narcissist, realize that he is not capable of doing anything other than what he has already done. If you are wondering what it is that God would have you to do when it comes to contemplating reuniting with the Narcissist, I recommend meditating on 2 Timothy 3:1-5.
But understand this, that in the last days dangerous times [of great stress and trouble] will come [difficult days that will be hard to bear]. For people will be lovers of self [narcissistic, self-focused], lovers of money [impelled by greed], boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane, [and they will be] unloving [devoid of natural human affection, calloused and inhumane], irreconcilable, malicious gossips, devoid of self-control [intemperate, immoral], brutal, haters of good, traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of [sensual] pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of [outward] godliness (religion), although they have denied its power [for their conduct nullifies their claim of faith]. Avoid such people and keep far away from them.
The truth of the matter is that reuniting with the Narcissist is not your best option. I’d like to recommend that you consider reuniting with Jesus Christ instead. I say this because I am aware of the various areas that the Narcissist has targeted and your relationship with Jesus is one of them. It is the goal of the Narcissist to steal your dreams and the desires of your heart, to kill your destiny (what God has spoken over your life), and to destroy your relationships with family and friends, as well as your self-esteem, your joy, and your peace. The Narcissist wants to leave you destitute and depressed.
Jesus Christ came that you may have life and that you may have it more abundantly. John 10:10.
If your relationship with the Narcissist has ended, you have been set free. It doesn’t matter how it came to pass. What matters is that you are free! Don’t be fooled into running back into slavery to the demonic will of the Narcissist.
In case no one has ever told you, you are worthy of being treated with kindness and true love. Where there is true love, you will not find mental and emotional abuse.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 we learn what love is…
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
I challenge you, instead of reuniting with the Narcissist, to reunite every area of your life back to Jesus Christ. Reunite your faith…Reunite your prayer life…Reunite your belief that you deserve better and that God has someone better for you.
I am praying for you!
I pray that your faith fails not!
You are more than a conqueror!
Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.
Keep the faith,