For the Spiritual Narcissist, targeting the women of God is a great source of Narcissistic supply.  Many women of God become easy prey, falling in love with the image of a mighty man of God who is actually a wolf in sheep clothing.  The question that plagues us is “how do they do it”. How is a woman of God targeted and tricked into dating or even worse marrying the enemy of her soul?  Are there signs to watch out for alerting us to the fact that a deceptive plan is unfolding and not the will of God?  Yes, there are signs to watch out for that the Spiritual Narcissist will operate in each and every time.  And we will discuss them here.

The Spiritual Narcissist uses God and His Word to create an image that lures the women of God into a Narcissistically abusive relationship.  The woman of God may find herself fighting for what appears to be the man God has for her when in fact, it is a trap to cause destruction in every area of her life.  Another question that comes to mind is why would anyone choose to do such despicable acts to someone who loved them?  Simply put, The Spiritual Narcissist is evil.  They are jealous and envious of others and therefore sets out to destroy those in whom they target.  Fortunately for us, their vicious plans are systematic and can be detected if we know what to look for.

When the Spiritual Narcissist targets the women of God, they are entered into a cycle of abuse.  This cycle of abuse ensures the Narcissistic supply that is crucial for Narcissists to survive.  Let’s explore a few of the stages that are played out in the Narcissistically Abusive Cycle.

Love Bombing

This is a commonly used manipulation technique of narcissists across the board.  Love bombing is when the Narcissist bombards you with communication such as texts, phone calls, emails, commenting on social media or liking your social media post.  Love bombing is extremely excessive to the point that it makes it hard to concentrate wholly on anything or anyone else, except the Narcissist.  Love bombing makes you feel special and amazed that you have met your knight and shining armor.  And why wouldn’t you feel this way?  The Narcissist puts great effort into assuring you that you are definitely the one they have been waiting for.  Before long, you are convinced that this is your soul mate and that your search for happiness is over.  This explains why it’s so easy to ignore that gut feeling that senses something is off. We are preoccupied with the manipulative tactics of the Narcissist and not in tuned with our star player…ourselves.

Instant Intimacy

Once the Narcissist has secured you with love bombing the next manipulative tactic is “Instant Intimacy”.  In this stage, the Narcissist will combine their life with yours as fast as possible.  Some examples in this stage are quick pregnancies, moving in together, marriage, joint checking accounts, credit cards, and life insurance policies just to name a few.

Emotionally Supportive Listener

The Narcissist is extremely skilled when it comes to attentively listen to their partners.  The Narcissist appears to be listening out of concern, when in fact, they’re actually gathering the information that enlightens them on exactly what you want in a partner.

The Narcissist is also skillfully listening to determine the areas that you are weak in.  Once the necessary information is obtained, the Narcissist will become the very person your heart desires to be with.  This is why it feels like you have met your soulmate.  The Narcissist is carefully playing out a character that lines up perfectly with what you have expressed to be your flavor.  Next, the Narcissist, equipped with the knowledge of your desires, dreams, and aspirations, strategizes a plan to destroy you mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially.

Narcissistic Rage

Once the Narcissist is confident in the fact that you have fallen in love with them, the devaluation stage begins.  In this stage, the narcissist will become outraged by even the smallest of things. Wherein the idealization stage you were the best thing smoking, in the devaluation stage, not so much.  The Narcissist will begin to negatively criticize you and imply that you are inadequate to carry out the simplest task.

The Narcissist will then control your behavior by going into narcissistic fits of rage that are manipulated to make you think that you did something wrong. Over time you start watching your every move in hopes of not angering them and experiencing Narcissistic rage.

Lying, Cheating & Triangulation

Unlike most liars and cheats, the Narcissist adds a vicious twist to the cycle.  While not getting caught is the intent of most cheaters, the Narcissist will deliberately orchestrate an entire scene where you and another unsuspecting victim are at the same place in order to create conflict.  Although this may be quite upsetting and even traumatic to the unsuspecting targets, it also serves as a source of Narcissistic supply.  An example of this may be the Narcissist intentionally leaving the door unlocked while engaging in sexual conduct knowing that at any moment you (the unsuspecting victim ) will arrive.  The Narcissist knows this will cause you a great amount of emotional pain which also serves as Narcissistic supply.  The confusing aspect is how The Narcissist will take center stage acting as surprised as you are about the (supposedly) unexpected guess.  All the while marveling in their self imposed glory of being worth fighting for.

The days of falling head over heels in love with someone and blindly being lead by what may or may not be love is over.  We must now operate in the discernment of the Holy Spirit and proceed with caution while being lead by God.  In so doing, we will be able to detect when something is not quite right instead of ignoring the warning signs of being caught in the web of Narcissism.

Be blessed and alert, forever using discernment for the times have definitely changed.

Your Sister in Christ,

Wendy