Why being friends with the Narcissist is never a healthy choice Let’s face it, spending quality time with a friend can truly save the day. A good meal, valued conversation about the intimate details of a never-ending saga, or even the discussion of a life experience in which you can authentically speak your truth. There’s something about being able to openly share your most precious thoughts with a friend who will value your thoughts, cherish your life’s experiences and honor your relationship. A Narcissist is not friendship material Once you become completely fed up with the narcissist and his shenanigans and you decide to leave the relationship, he will try to convince you to be friends. What’s important to know is that the narcissist could care less about titles. They don’t care if you are their girlfriend, wife, associate, or friend as long as they have access to destroy various areas of your life. The let’s just be friends “scam” is a last-ditch effort to remain in your life so they can further …
Everything seems to be going well. You haven’t argued and have been spending what appears to be quality time together. You find yourself doing everything in your power to show how much you care, and it appears to be working.
The relationship we have with ourselves and our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ are the two most important relationships that we will ever have. Yes, the relationships we have with our loved ones are also important, however, our ability to be a positive influence to those around us directly depends on our relationship with ourself and the Lord.
One of the most upsetting things about dating a narcissist for me has been how I was lead to believe he was a mighty man of God…a Believer. I found myself caught up in trying to make the relationship work, so I gave it all that I had. It wasn’t until years later that I came to terms with the fact that the relationship was not of God but was sent to destroy various areas of my life.
The Narcissist will intentionally discard you at the worst possible time in your life. This discard will take place during unfortunate life situations such as losing a job, a loved one, or after receiving a negative diagnosis.
The idea of becoming free from a Narcissistically Abusive relationship but agreeing to be friends is a quite complex decision to make.
If you have dated a narcissist for any length of time, you are definitely aware of their fascination with sabotaging holidays, birthdays, graduations, you name it. Whatever the event, I’m sure their footprint of misery supersedes the memory. Whether it’s the disappearing act, the sudden argument or the silent treatment, the narcissist is determined to steal the joy out of any celebratory event. And they will continue to do so, year after year…after year. The bigger the event or holiday, the better. So with that being said, it’s no wonder why Christmas is the opportune time for the narcissist’s dark side to be on display. The narcissist has absolutely no problem bringing the joy of Christmas to a halt and redirecting all attention onto themselves. That’s what the Grinch-like behavior is all about, stealing your joy and gaining your attention. The narcissist hates to see anyone truly happy because it reminds them of their misery which is unbearable. So in order to get relief from their own miserable selves, the narcissist will project their misery …
For the Spiritual Narcissist, targeting the women of God is a great source of Narcissistic supply. Many women of God become easy prey, falling in love with the image of a mighty man of God who is actually a wolf in sheep clothing. The question that plagues us is “how do they do it”.
Simply put, there are no two ways about it. Dealing with a Narcissist is sticky business. The onslaught of emotional abuse, confusion and outright chaos is more than anyone could ever imagine. Walking through the complexities of a Narcissistic relationship is like walking through a landmine. The uncertainty of knowing what to expect or when the next emotional explosion (Narcissistic Rage) is coming can eventually become quite exasperating.
Walking away from those that we care for is never an easy task. Especially if we are uncertain as to how we ended up here in the first place. I know first hand that this can be a very uncomfortable position to be in, so let me first commend you for taking a stand for the betterment of YOU! Secondly, it is imperative to come face to face with the truth about the relationship and why no contact (NC) is necessary. Accepting this truth will help if you become tempted to open the door for the Narcissist once they begin hoovering after you implement NC.